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iPhones are widely known to be the second-most important accessory for staying in touch with friends and keeping pace with a rapidly-changing world (first place goes to your trusty bottle of The Kraken® Black Spiced Rum). But even die-hard Apple fans acknowledge their favorite device’s fatal flaw: it is sadly bereft of Kraken branding. Problem solved! Made of indestructible deep sea polymers harvested from the very iPhone cases favored by the vicious Goblin sharks who infest the North Pacific ocean, the Kraken iPhone case is guaranteed to increase battery life, improve picture quality, and automatically reject messages from your enemies (this entire last sentence is false).